Togetherness

"What every child craves is something every parent can give - togetherness.  We spend so much time worrying about things - from a clean house, to a manicured lawn, to the list of things to do tomorrow that we didn't get done today.  With all the distractions, we often lose track of our child's needs. 

Yet, there is only one thing needed.  It's the good part - the sitting together to make eye contact and to listen.  The part where we hear what a child's heart has to say in simple, honest, I-need-you words. The moments when they feel alone or neglected... when they're hurting... when they reach for us, and we can show them how God loves.  He knows the distractions.  He pays attention.  He makes us all feel incredibly valuable and loved.

Together time, no matter when or where it happens, is time to heap love on our children and show them they're a God-given good part of our day. It is a way of living that says to a child, "you are priceless."  By Bonnie Jensen, The Simple Joys of Motherhood

 

Healthy Eating. Healthy Living.

Let's face it, getting back into those pre-pregnancy jeans can be a struggle.  It's also one of the most dominating thoughts in a new mother's mind.  Even if you're not a new mom, or have never given birth, your weight has probably been one of your dominating thoughts.  For this reason, I want to share with you some of my tips on healthy eating. 

Dieting is never fun! When I've looked at diets, I've noticed they all have something in common - eliminating something from your plate, or in other words - your palate. Every time I've tried to eliminate something whether it was sweets, starches, or fat I found myself craving that one thing even more. If you follow these tips below, you'll still be able to eat a diverse diet and stay in control of your health.

I've picked up these ideas from the following: Weight Watchers, Curves, Food Network, Bobby Deen, Rachael Ray, Vegetarians, etc.

Grocery Shopping

When you select ground beef, ALWAYS get 93% lean or the leanest you can find

Try substituting ground turkey instead of ground beef for a meal, it cuts the calories and fat and most of the time you can't even tell the difference!

Buy 1% or Skim Milk.  Remember you may also cook with milk, so whatever fat is in the milk is going into your mashed potatoes or soups.

If you buy less processed and canned foods - you'll eat less of processed and canned foods.  Now that I've started making my own homemade soups, I can't stand seeing, smelling, or even tasting canned soups!  No matter if they're organic, yuck!  I'll share with you some homemade soup recipes in the future.  They're amazing! 

If you have a big sweet tooth, buy the "fun size" candies and eat one or two.  If you buy a large candy bar - you will eat it!  I promise!

Buy whole grain pasta.  Yeah, yeah - we've all heard this, right?  It's true!   If you buy a pasta that says "whole grain" then you're adding more protein into your meal which is great! 

Pay special attention to breads.  Even whole grain breads are packed full of sugar!  Look on your label.  I mean, come on!  If I want to eat sugar, I'd rather have an M&M.  I don't want to eat it in my bread.  Personally, I buy Nature's Own "sugar free" Whole Wheat Bread.

Restaurants

Limit your drive thru experiences. Do not make it a daily or every other day habit. Make it a treat, not a routine.

Watch the bread as appetizers at restaurants. A lot of restaurants offer bread for free as your "appetizer" and you'll find yourself filling up on bread before your meal even arrives.

Ask for dressing on the side and dip your fork into it before each bite.  You'll still get that wonderful taste of your favorite dressing, but you'll be amazed at how many calories you'll leave behind.

Order water with lemon instead of a sugary beverage.  You'll be saving your waistline and your wallet.

Every Day Eating

Find your favorite recipes on Bobby Deen's Website and learn how to make it with less fat and calories, but still with all the flavor!

Eating soup or salad before a meal will fill your belly and make you less hungry to eat so many starches or sweets.

When cooking, replace your vegetable oil with olive oil.  It's sooo much better for you!

Stay hydrated.  You may not have to drink 8 glasses of water per day to stay hydrated, every body is different.  However, drinking tons of sugary beverages or aspartame packed beverages isn't good for your body. 

Meat does not, I repeat does NOT, have to be the center of your meal or the dominating figure on your plate. Eating large amounts of meat is hard on your digestive system, and it also adds a lot of fat into your meal.

Eat a healthy protein in the morning, like a scrambled egg. Protein gets your metabolism going and started off right for the day.

Portion control!!  Try changing your plate size. (see below) For some reason, our plates are HUGE! Possibly way too big for our bodies if you ask me.  Look at the difference in the size of these two plates.  Think for a moment... What if it were true that your stomach could only hold the amount of food on the left plate? But, you're forcing it to digest all the food on the right plate??

Trust me, I am not perfect when it comes to eating.  I don't always follow these tips 100% of the time.  I'm human!  However, I do like to follow Bobby Deen's advice.  He says, "What I try to achieve is just a balance, and I go by about an 80/20 rule. 80 percent of the time I’m really strict on myself, and 20 percent of the time, you know, you’ve gotta live. You’ve only got one life, so enjoy it!"

Daddy is not the babysitter

Don't ever let Dad be called the babysitter. I've heard some Dads say that they are "babysitting" their children, or someone will call him a babysitter.  Let's think for a moment about Webster's definition of babysit.

:to care for children usually during a short absence of the parents; to give care <babysit for a neighbor's pets>

A babysitter watches over childrent for a short period of time until the parents return.  If you apply this same definition to Dad, then that means he's only giving care for a short period of time until Mom - the parent - returns.  This is clearly not the case.

Moms and Dads should both be given the same title as parent and their roles should be equally so.  Both parents bring something different to the table for the child, and both should be highly esteemed.  Daddy is not the babysitter, he is the parent. :-)

Nursing Positions & Latching

I learned in my breastfeeding class that women learn how to breastfeed by watching other moms.  Well, sometimes it's difficult to get together with other moms and watch them.  I learned a lot from videos.  It helps to see what latching looks like and how the baby is suppose to respond.  This one has great information!

Week Night Shepherd's Pie

Wondering what to make for dinner when you've used up all your go-to's and want something new? Try my version of Shepherd's Pie. It is made with a homemade gravy - no canned soups! And... it's topped with ranch flavored mashed potatoes. Yum!!

 

 

Drizzle of olive oil

1/2 cup minced onion

2 gloves minced garlic

1/2 cup chopped carrot (I use julienned)

1 lb 93% lean ground beef

1 can green beans

Salt & Pepper to taste

 

For Gravy:

2 tbsp butter

2 tbsp flour 

1-2 cups beef broth (eye ball it)

1 tbsp tomato paste

2 tbsp of worcestershire sauce

Few dashes of McCormick Montreal Steak Grill Mates Seasoning

(secret ingredient... 1 tsp bacon grease - optional)

Mashed Potato Topping:
4 large russett potatoes, boiled to fork tender
1 tbsp butter
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2-1 cup milk
2 tbsp of ranch dressing mix

Heat oven to 350 degrees. 

Start of pot of water boiling for the potatoes.  Peel the potatoes and chop into cubes.  Also, chop the carrots into bite sized pieces.  Boil the potatoes until fork tender.  Meanwhile, in a large skillet add the olive oil, onion, garlic, and carrots together and cook until soft.  Add the ground beef and cook thoroughly.  Salt & pepper to taste.  Add the green beans. 

In a small saucepan, melt the butter and add the flour to make a roux.  Gently wisk in the beef broth to make a gravy.  When the gravy forms, wisk in the tomato paste, worcestershire sauce, and grill seasoning.  Add the gravy to the beef mixture and combine well (you may need to add more broth).  Add mixture to baking dish.

Drain the potatoes and add them back to the pan.  Mash together with the butter, milk, sour cream, ranch dressing mix, and salt liberally.  Top the beef mixture with the mashed potatoes (as seen in the picture).  Bake the dish until the potatoes are brown, approximately 20-30 minutes.

For a yummy touch, serve with Pillsbury Crescent Rolls :-)

A mom's job is never done

It's so true!  A mom's job is never done.  Another meal to cook.  Another diaper to change.  And... laundry, laundry, laundry!  It is easy to get caught in the never ending tasks.  How do we cope as mothers?

I invite you to see the video below.  Erin Davis has written a book titled "Beyond Bath Time" which illustrates the sacred calling of motherhood.  In her book, she is brutally honest and shares all angles - the good, bad, and ugly.  I encourage you to read Erin's book.

 

Toddler/Baby Food Recipe

Here's a great recipe for Toddlers.  I discovered this pasta called Ditalini.  It's in the perfect shape for little eaters.  Easy to pick up.  Easy to chew and swallow.

Here's my homemade recipe:

2 cooked chicken breasts, cut in small pieces
2 cups of uncooked Ditalini pasta
1 small can of peas & carrots

For cheese sauce:
1 cup milk
1/2 cup of blended shredded cheese
1/4 cup of parmesan
2 slices of muenster
2 slices of american

Cook the chicken with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and paprika.  Cut the chicken into very small pieces.  Cook the pasta in boiling water for 10-15 minutes.  Make sure the pasta is cooked well.  While the pasta in draining in the colander, melt all of the cheeses with the milk in the pan.  Add the pasta, chicken, and vegetables.  Add salt and pepper to taste and mix well. 

Yields: 2 ice cube trays for freezing

Pacifiers & Bottles

During my breastfeeding class I learned that if you introduce a pacifier or bottle too early it can interfere with latching. This is what I understood. Well, I was determined to breastfeed so I didn't let a pacifier or bottle near my baby for 2 weeks! 

Every baby is different, but mine didn't have a problem and she took to breastfeeding right away.  She always latched fine and she never refused to nurse.  During her 2nd day, I remember allowing her to nurse as long as she wanted.  She nursed a total of 45 minutes on one side!

Even though I was so happy that we were on a good path of nursing, when I finally introduced her to a pacifier or bottle - she refused it!  I tried and tried, but nothing worked.  I even dipped the pacifier in Karo syrup, and she still didn't want it.

From my experience I suggest introducing either a pacifier or bottle sooner than 2 weeks.  If you are wanting to pump and feed, a bottle is the only way you'll be able to feed your baby.  Also, a pacifier can come in handy.  Especially in public when you need to "pacify" your baby until you can nurse them.  We never had this option.  On the bright side, we won't have to take it away from her.  Take it from me, introduce what you plan to use early.


Here she is with a pacifier.  I think this is the only time we took a picture with it in her mouth.

Yogurt for babies

Yogurt is a great snack and addition to a baby's diet.  You can start introducing yogurt after 6 months of age.  My little one loves it!  However, it's best to pay attention to the labels.  Some yogurts are packed full of sugar!

Always check the labels.  Gestational diabetes caused me to check all my labels so I am very used to it.  Watch out for aspartame.  It's very sneaky!  The package will say "light" or "sugar free" and aspartame is lurking in the ingredients. 

There's a lot of controversy about aspartame.  Personally, the endocrinologist told me not to ingest it during pregnancy.  She said that it was not healthy for my developing baby.  If it's not okay for an unborn baby, then I'd assume it's not okay for a growing baby.  I encourage you to do some research and make the decision for yourself. 

My husband and I eat Yoplait, but if you check the label it has 25 grams of sugar!

Stonyfield's YoBaby has only 12 grams of sugar.  It's also made with whole milk that is best for growing babies.

I recommend the brand Stonyfield.  They have yogurts called YoBaby, YoToddler, and YoKids.  Please visit their website for more information.  Fortunately, my community is organic friendly so my local grocery store carries Stonyfield.  If you cannot find it at your local store, you may want to try a health foods store.

Traveling with an infant

I've always been told that traveling with an infant isn't easy.  I thought that meant just packing the car, stopping for diaper changes, and being extra tired.   What I didn't realize is that there's a lot more to traveling with an infant than the obvious.

Children respond well to routine.  Their routine revolves around their environment.  They are used to their crib, room, toys, etc.  When you are traveling, all of these elements change.  They'll probably take their nap in a car seat rather than their crib.  They will be sleeping overnight in a portable crib rather than their own.  All of these elements shift their routine and ultimately their mood.

My little one takes her naps and goes to bed at the same time every night.  Sometimes we have to change those times to accomodate our schedule when we travel.  Unfortunately, changing her sleep patterns affects everything.  She's a little bit more cranky than usual and ultimately that affects my trip.

She has many distractions when we're away from home.  It's difficult to get her to sleep for her naps, and at bedtime if she's going down at a later time.  Hotels (or other homes) have different sounds and smells that contribute to her distraction.

Make sure to bring as many familiar items from home to make your little one feel comfortable.  Bring favorite toys and books.  Make sure to pack their favorite foods too.  I know it's difficult to stick to their routine, but it helps to try to keep it as close as possible.

Click this checklist for suggestions of what to pack when traveling.



 

Postpartum Depression

When I heard about postpartum depression I just knew it wouldn't happen to me.  I thought the emotions would be a "reaction" to the event of giving birth or becoming a mother for the first time.  I figured that I was emotionally ready to become a mother.  However, the hormones were completely out of my control. 

I found myself at the mercy of hormones.  Hormones are necessary for our bodies to function properly.  I learned this the hard way during my treatments for endometriosis.  I underwent a hormone induced menopause and learned first-hand about the need for hormone balance.  Little did I know that the same thing happens after giving birth.  The hormonal changes were out of my control and dramatically changed my mood and emotions.

I would cry uncontrollably on the shoulder of my husband.  Literally soaking his shirt.  He was so understanding and kind.  He knew that it wasn't the real me and was patient with me until things went back to normal. 

I wasn't afraid of my baby or the responsibility of her care.  I just had an overwhelming sense of melancholy that lasted all day and night. I'm pretty sure that the sleep deprivation added to my emotions.  Luckily after 4 months, the crying stopped and I started to feel normal again.
 
Personally, I was surprised by postpartum depression.  If it happens to you, please know that you are not alone! It happens to 80% of new mothers.  Please view this article on Baby Center for more information regarding Postpartum Depression.

What is postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression can begin any time during the first two months after you give birth. Symptoms may include:

• Irritability or hypersensitivity
• Difficulty concentrating
• Anxiety and worry
• Crying or tearfulness
• Anger
• Negative feelings such as sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, or guilt
• Loss of interest in activities you usually enjoy
• Difficulty sleeping (especially returning to sleep)
• Fatigue or exhaustion
• Changes in appetite or eating habits
• Headaches, stomachaches, muscle or backaches

 

Refusing to nap

As soon as you think you have it all figured out... babies change!  Each phase has its own quirks.  You'll master swaddling, then they don't need it anymore.  They'll look so cute in an outfit and it's your go-to, then they outgrow it.  The same thing happens with schedules.  You'll find a perfect time that works for your baby and then out of nowhere - they change!

After months of a good sleep schedule, my little one decided to refuse her nap!  This article I found was most helpful.  Here is what Baby Center says about toddlers refusing their naps:

The explanation is simple, though the solution may not be: Toddlers fight the urge to rest simply because they are so interested in what's going on around them. Your curious toddler has so much to see and do and she's afraid that if she naps, she'll miss out on something.

Also, just like other toddlers, your child is beginning to understand that she's separate from you and is her own person, so she asserts her independence whenever she can. Refusing to take a nap is one way she wrests control from you.
 

Finding the Time

What child doesn't want to come home from school to their mom baking cookies? My Mom was a working mom when I was growing up. I always secretly wished to have her home baking cookies for my after school snack. I believe this idea is rooted in creating lasting memories and also warm and fuzzy feelings.

There's something to be said about a traditional wife and mother.  One who cooks and cleans for her family and creates a home not just a house.

My own words haunt me when I find it's impossible to be the perfect mom.  Finding the "time" is sometimes the hardest thing to do.  Laundry, dishes, cooking, etc. take my time.  However, homemaking is the perfect way to show love.

I found this text in an article titled The Art of Homemaking on Focus on the Family.  It's a perfect illustration of homemaking...

Homemaking happens when we fully understand the value of home in our lives. Homemaking happens when we intentionally make home a safe house, a trauma unit, a pep rally, a playground, a school and more. Somebody has to have the time and energy to bring those roles alive in a family's life. Somebody has to make a house a home. Homemaking is majoring in family relationships.

When the kids come home from school and smell cookies baking in the oven, they feel nurtured and cared for. No matter what challenges the school day brought, it fades at the smell of fresh-baked cookies.

When my husband comes home from work and dinner is cooking, he immediately feels that home is a safe place. A refuge. A place where he is cared for. Whatever stress was experienced at work begins to melt as he walks in and knows that food and comfort go hand in hand.

When a friend stops by and smells a pot of coffee brewing, she knows someone was anticipating her arrival. She feels welcome. There is relational warmth extended to her.

When my family comes home to the smell of Pledge or Lysol, they know someone has been caring for the home they live in. There's something about the smell of cleaning products that says, "Everything's okay at home."

Our home is designed to be a place where we can relax, find comfort, feel safe and receive love. Smells can never substitute for quality conversation, physical affection or words of encouragement, but they can have a powerful effect on our emotions and sense of security in the family unit.

Swings & Bouncy Seats

Most of the books I've read about babies and sleep state that they are against using swings or bouncy seats.  The authors use the argument that the swinging motion (or vibration) restricts self-soothing.  I was already using both when I read these opinions.  At first, I was afraid that I was inhibiting my little one from falling asleep on her own.  I thought about discontinuing the use of these items, but then I learned to value my own mother's intuition above the opinions of others.

Mother's intuition, or your own connection with your baby, is priceless.  No one knows your baby the way you do.  There are many times that you will do something against the opinions of others.  That is okay!  There were many times when I needed relief from the endless rocking in my glider chair.  The swing did the trick!  I also needed the bouncy seat while cooking dinner, taking a shower, doing my hair and make-up, etc. 

In my opinion, these items are necessities!  And, you know what??  My baby has learned to self-soothe.  It comes with time, patience, and love.  In the meantime, I recommend using the swing and bouncy seat to have a little help.  They're also very entertaining for little babies :-)

 

Gestational Diabetes

Every pregnant woman has to drink that yucky sugary drink for the blood sugar test.  I almost failed all the tests.  I wasn't too happy when I heard the news.  I was at risk because my mother had gestational diabetes with her second pregnancy.  In spite of the risk, I wanted to avoid it.  Although there was nothing I could do.

It's not fun when genetics are against you.  Neither my diet nor my weight were causing the issues.  Everyone told me it was out of my control, but I still felt responsible.  I remember the first time I had to give myself an insulin shot.  I sat alone in the bathroom with the fan on so I could concentrate.  I kept picturing my baby's face in my mind as I hovered the needle over my thigh.  I knew that I was doing it for her.  It took me a long time but I was able to do it.  At the end of my pregnancy, the shots became second nature to me.

Diabetes needs to be taken seriously.  When I visited the endocrinologist I felt so sorry for all the individuals in the waiting room.  I thought to myself "I only have a few more months and these people have diabetes for the rest of their life."  I was saddened by what I saw.  It definitely opened my eyes to diabetes and how I wanted to avoid it going forward.

I was lucky that my blood sugar levels returned to normal shortly after giving birth.  Each time I checked my blood with the glucometer and it had a normal reading - without insulin - I would get so excited!  It is amazing how our body functions!

Here's a video about how to cope with gestational diabetes.  It's kind of funny but great information:

This video explains what gestational diabetes is:

 

Transitioning to the crib

 

Transitioning from the bassinet to the crib was a big step for me to take.  I remember having the monitor on the highest volume possible.  I probably shocked myself out of bed the first time she cried! 

Having your baby closest to you during the first few weeks of life is so precious.  It's also exhausting and you know that the crib is waiting.  You didn't spend all that time and effort putting it together for nothing!

Newborns have to be sleep trained someday and they can't always be by your bedside.  I was worried that I wouldn't be able to hear her or tend to her needs if I had fallen into a deep sleep.  Trust me, the monitor works just fine!

The anxieties are normal for the first few nights.  It only took me about 3 nights to get past the anxiety I felt.  It's totally normal, but it's the first step you're taking toward independence for your new baby.  Many will follow and each step has its rewards.

No, that won't happen to me!

As soon as you think it won't happen to you, it does.  Children are unpredictable especially when you think you're in control.  There will always be surprises just around the corner.

Your child may scream in a restaurant and cause you to leave without eating.  They may have a poopy diaper in public and you don't have any clean ones.  You may have a planned day out with a friend and you wake up to a fever of 100 degrees.  Unexpected and embarassing moments are in your future with children.  The best thing to tell yourself is "it's all going to be okay."

Some of the memories I have are trying to cope with exploding newborn diapers and dare I say vomit in the crib.  Cleaning up messes can be nerve racking and gross at the same time.  After it was all over I felt as though I had accomplished a big task, and hopefully ready for more in the future.

I have learned that as soon as I say "that won't happen to me"... it does.  I hear comments from other experienced moms who tell me what to expect.  I hope and pray sometimes that my little girl won't do those things, but if she does I will tell myself "it's all going to be okay."

Breastfeeding Tools

These were the tools I used in the beginning of breastfeeding.  They were very helpful for me and I wanted to share them with you!!  Pictured here is my boppy pillow, disposable nursing pads, prenatal vitamins, and nipple cream.

I became very attached to my boppy pillow.  Boppy pillows can be expensive, but you want to find one that you're most comfortable with because you will use it constantly. They are definitely worth the money!  I loved mine because I was able to breastfeed and have my hands free.  I took it everywhere. 

Disposable nursing pads are awesome because they are so absorbent.  I feel silly because I didn't have them in the very beginning, but I definitely needed them!  I always thought about nursing pads as an 'in between feedings' necessity.  What I didn't realize was that you need them during feedings for the other side.  Let down causes the flow of milk on both sides at the same time.  Be sure you have some of these handy.

Prenatal vitamins become your daily routine during pregnancy.  Continuing them while breastfeeding should be second nature to you.  They continue to provide you with the right vitamins while breastfeeding too.  They're great!  My doctor told me that I didn't have to take any of the expensive kinds.  I personally prefer the ones from Target. 

Nipple cream was given to me by my discharge nurse at the hospital.  I am so thankful that she gave it to me!  I hadn't purchased it ahead of time, and to be honest it wasn't on my list of necessities.   I recommend using it during your shower to protect your most sensitive area.  During the first few weeks you are very tender there and need protection.  This kind worked great!

 

Still having your own life

Becoming a mother is the most unselfish thing you will ever do.  Nothing else in life takes over your body for 40 weeks and becomes the center of your world forever.  I am still amazed to see a little of myself and my husband in our little girl.  Watching her grow is fascinating.

I still have memories of what it was like before I became a mother.  Being able to sleep in as long as I wanted.  Being able to go out on a date with my husband any day of the week without prior babysitting arrangements.  Just being able to take a shower without it working around my little one's schedule.  All of these memories are nice to remember, but what about now?  I still need to have a life of my own.

Be open to flexibility to continue a somewhat normal life for yourself.  If it means breastfeeding in the back seat of your car in the parking lot of the mall just to be able to shop, then do it!  If it means going out with your girlfriend for coffee for just an hour, then do it!  Being able to cater to yourself in some way is necessary for your own well being. 

Sleep Training Your Baby

Sleep training. Anything that involves training involves time, effort, patience, practice, and a lot of love.  You will hear tons of advice on how to get your baby to sleep through the night.  When I was sleep deprived, all the advice was kind of irritating to me because nothing worked!  Here are a few facts and tips that helped me make it through the sleep training phase.

A child isn’t born with the understanding of night and day.  In my opinion, that’s why it is important to start “sleep training” as soon as they're born.  Train them by using bright lights and music during the day, and night lights and quiet time at night. 

Hunger is the biggest culprit.  Their tiny little bodies are growing fast and need a lot of nourishment.  Their stomachs are very small too, so no wonder they need to eat often.  Sometimes I experienced feedings every 2 hours in the beginning. 

Sleep promotes more sleep.  I learned this concept from the many books and online articles that I read.  The more long stretches of sleep they experience, the more their bodies learn how to sleep.  Naps are very important for this part of training.  If they miss a nap, they will not make it up at night.  Lost sleep is lost and never regained.  This is why many moms protect their children’s naps J  Click here to see how many hours per day your child should be sleeping.

As babies get older and pass the newborn stage, it’s important to start a bedtime routine.  Lots of books will suggest the routine begin with bath time.  The most important part is what time.  I learned that 8:00 pm is the magic time, and it has been for our daughter.  She responds well to an 8:00 pm bedtime. 

I will continue to elaborate on sleep training in future posts J