Togetherness

"What every child craves is something every parent can give - togetherness.  We spend so much time worrying about things - from a clean house, to a manicured lawn, to the list of things to do tomorrow that we didn't get done today.  With all the distractions, we often lose track of our child's needs. 

Yet, there is only one thing needed.  It's the good part - the sitting together to make eye contact and to listen.  The part where we hear what a child's heart has to say in simple, honest, I-need-you words. The moments when they feel alone or neglected... when they're hurting... when they reach for us, and we can show them how God loves.  He knows the distractions.  He pays attention.  He makes us all feel incredibly valuable and loved.

Together time, no matter when or where it happens, is time to heap love on our children and show them they're a God-given good part of our day. It is a way of living that says to a child, "you are priceless."  By Bonnie Jensen, The Simple Joys of Motherhood

 

A mom's job is never done

It's so true!  A mom's job is never done.  Another meal to cook.  Another diaper to change.  And... laundry, laundry, laundry!  It is easy to get caught in the never ending tasks.  How do we cope as mothers?

I invite you to see the video below.  Erin Davis has written a book titled "Beyond Bath Time" which illustrates the sacred calling of motherhood.  In her book, she is brutally honest and shares all angles - the good, bad, and ugly.  I encourage you to read Erin's book.

 

Pacifiers & Bottles

During my breastfeeding class I learned that if you introduce a pacifier or bottle too early it can interfere with latching. This is what I understood. Well, I was determined to breastfeed so I didn't let a pacifier or bottle near my baby for 2 weeks! 

Every baby is different, but mine didn't have a problem and she took to breastfeeding right away.  She always latched fine and she never refused to nurse.  During her 2nd day, I remember allowing her to nurse as long as she wanted.  She nursed a total of 45 minutes on one side!

Even though I was so happy that we were on a good path of nursing, when I finally introduced her to a pacifier or bottle - she refused it!  I tried and tried, but nothing worked.  I even dipped the pacifier in Karo syrup, and she still didn't want it.

From my experience I suggest introducing either a pacifier or bottle sooner than 2 weeks.  If you are wanting to pump and feed, a bottle is the only way you'll be able to feed your baby.  Also, a pacifier can come in handy.  Especially in public when you need to "pacify" your baby until you can nurse them.  We never had this option.  On the bright side, we won't have to take it away from her.  Take it from me, introduce what you plan to use early.


Here she is with a pacifier.  I think this is the only time we took a picture with it in her mouth.

Postpartum Depression

When I heard about postpartum depression I just knew it wouldn't happen to me.  I thought the emotions would be a "reaction" to the event of giving birth or becoming a mother for the first time.  I figured that I was emotionally ready to become a mother.  However, the hormones were completely out of my control. 

I found myself at the mercy of hormones.  Hormones are necessary for our bodies to function properly.  I learned this the hard way during my treatments for endometriosis.  I underwent a hormone induced menopause and learned first-hand about the need for hormone balance.  Little did I know that the same thing happens after giving birth.  The hormonal changes were out of my control and dramatically changed my mood and emotions.

I would cry uncontrollably on the shoulder of my husband.  Literally soaking his shirt.  He was so understanding and kind.  He knew that it wasn't the real me and was patient with me until things went back to normal. 

I wasn't afraid of my baby or the responsibility of her care.  I just had an overwhelming sense of melancholy that lasted all day and night. I'm pretty sure that the sleep deprivation added to my emotions.  Luckily after 4 months, the crying stopped and I started to feel normal again.
 
Personally, I was surprised by postpartum depression.  If it happens to you, please know that you are not alone! It happens to 80% of new mothers.  Please view this article on Baby Center for more information regarding Postpartum Depression.

What is postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression can begin any time during the first two months after you give birth. Symptoms may include:

• Irritability or hypersensitivity
• Difficulty concentrating
• Anxiety and worry
• Crying or tearfulness
• Anger
• Negative feelings such as sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, or guilt
• Loss of interest in activities you usually enjoy
• Difficulty sleeping (especially returning to sleep)
• Fatigue or exhaustion
• Changes in appetite or eating habits
• Headaches, stomachaches, muscle or backaches

 

Finding the Time

What child doesn't want to come home from school to their mom baking cookies? My Mom was a working mom when I was growing up. I always secretly wished to have her home baking cookies for my after school snack. I believe this idea is rooted in creating lasting memories and also warm and fuzzy feelings.

There's something to be said about a traditional wife and mother.  One who cooks and cleans for her family and creates a home not just a house.

My own words haunt me when I find it's impossible to be the perfect mom.  Finding the "time" is sometimes the hardest thing to do.  Laundry, dishes, cooking, etc. take my time.  However, homemaking is the perfect way to show love.

I found this text in an article titled The Art of Homemaking on Focus on the Family.  It's a perfect illustration of homemaking...

Homemaking happens when we fully understand the value of home in our lives. Homemaking happens when we intentionally make home a safe house, a trauma unit, a pep rally, a playground, a school and more. Somebody has to have the time and energy to bring those roles alive in a family's life. Somebody has to make a house a home. Homemaking is majoring in family relationships.

When the kids come home from school and smell cookies baking in the oven, they feel nurtured and cared for. No matter what challenges the school day brought, it fades at the smell of fresh-baked cookies.

When my husband comes home from work and dinner is cooking, he immediately feels that home is a safe place. A refuge. A place where he is cared for. Whatever stress was experienced at work begins to melt as he walks in and knows that food and comfort go hand in hand.

When a friend stops by and smells a pot of coffee brewing, she knows someone was anticipating her arrival. She feels welcome. There is relational warmth extended to her.

When my family comes home to the smell of Pledge or Lysol, they know someone has been caring for the home they live in. There's something about the smell of cleaning products that says, "Everything's okay at home."

Our home is designed to be a place where we can relax, find comfort, feel safe and receive love. Smells can never substitute for quality conversation, physical affection or words of encouragement, but they can have a powerful effect on our emotions and sense of security in the family unit.

Gestational Diabetes

Every pregnant woman has to drink that yucky sugary drink for the blood sugar test.  I almost failed all the tests.  I wasn't too happy when I heard the news.  I was at risk because my mother had gestational diabetes with her second pregnancy.  In spite of the risk, I wanted to avoid it.  Although there was nothing I could do.

It's not fun when genetics are against you.  Neither my diet nor my weight were causing the issues.  Everyone told me it was out of my control, but I still felt responsible.  I remember the first time I had to give myself an insulin shot.  I sat alone in the bathroom with the fan on so I could concentrate.  I kept picturing my baby's face in my mind as I hovered the needle over my thigh.  I knew that I was doing it for her.  It took me a long time but I was able to do it.  At the end of my pregnancy, the shots became second nature to me.

Diabetes needs to be taken seriously.  When I visited the endocrinologist I felt so sorry for all the individuals in the waiting room.  I thought to myself "I only have a few more months and these people have diabetes for the rest of their life."  I was saddened by what I saw.  It definitely opened my eyes to diabetes and how I wanted to avoid it going forward.

I was lucky that my blood sugar levels returned to normal shortly after giving birth.  Each time I checked my blood with the glucometer and it had a normal reading - without insulin - I would get so excited!  It is amazing how our body functions!

Here's a video about how to cope with gestational diabetes.  It's kind of funny but great information:

This video explains what gestational diabetes is:

 

No, that won't happen to me!

As soon as you think it won't happen to you, it does.  Children are unpredictable especially when you think you're in control.  There will always be surprises just around the corner.

Your child may scream in a restaurant and cause you to leave without eating.  They may have a poopy diaper in public and you don't have any clean ones.  You may have a planned day out with a friend and you wake up to a fever of 100 degrees.  Unexpected and embarassing moments are in your future with children.  The best thing to tell yourself is "it's all going to be okay."

Some of the memories I have are trying to cope with exploding newborn diapers and dare I say vomit in the crib.  Cleaning up messes can be nerve racking and gross at the same time.  After it was all over I felt as though I had accomplished a big task, and hopefully ready for more in the future.

I have learned that as soon as I say "that won't happen to me"... it does.  I hear comments from other experienced moms who tell me what to expect.  I hope and pray sometimes that my little girl won't do those things, but if she does I will tell myself "it's all going to be okay."

Breastfeeding Tools

These were the tools I used in the beginning of breastfeeding.  They were very helpful for me and I wanted to share them with you!!  Pictured here is my boppy pillow, disposable nursing pads, prenatal vitamins, and nipple cream.

I became very attached to my boppy pillow.  Boppy pillows can be expensive, but you want to find one that you're most comfortable with because you will use it constantly. They are definitely worth the money!  I loved mine because I was able to breastfeed and have my hands free.  I took it everywhere. 

Disposable nursing pads are awesome because they are so absorbent.  I feel silly because I didn't have them in the very beginning, but I definitely needed them!  I always thought about nursing pads as an 'in between feedings' necessity.  What I didn't realize was that you need them during feedings for the other side.  Let down causes the flow of milk on both sides at the same time.  Be sure you have some of these handy.

Prenatal vitamins become your daily routine during pregnancy.  Continuing them while breastfeeding should be second nature to you.  They continue to provide you with the right vitamins while breastfeeding too.  They're great!  My doctor told me that I didn't have to take any of the expensive kinds.  I personally prefer the ones from Target. 

Nipple cream was given to me by my discharge nurse at the hospital.  I am so thankful that she gave it to me!  I hadn't purchased it ahead of time, and to be honest it wasn't on my list of necessities.   I recommend using it during your shower to protect your most sensitive area.  During the first few weeks you are very tender there and need protection.  This kind worked great!

 

Still having your own life

Becoming a mother is the most unselfish thing you will ever do.  Nothing else in life takes over your body for 40 weeks and becomes the center of your world forever.  I am still amazed to see a little of myself and my husband in our little girl.  Watching her grow is fascinating.

I still have memories of what it was like before I became a mother.  Being able to sleep in as long as I wanted.  Being able to go out on a date with my husband any day of the week without prior babysitting arrangements.  Just being able to take a shower without it working around my little one's schedule.  All of these memories are nice to remember, but what about now?  I still need to have a life of my own.

Be open to flexibility to continue a somewhat normal life for yourself.  If it means breastfeeding in the back seat of your car in the parking lot of the mall just to be able to shop, then do it!  If it means going out with your girlfriend for coffee for just an hour, then do it!  Being able to cater to yourself in some way is necessary for your own well being. 

My Journey to Motherhood

My journey to motherhood has not been easy.  The many ups and downs I’ve experienced have brought me to a place of gratitude.  Please let me share with you my journey... 

I was diagnosed with endometriosis in December of 2001.  For 10 years I worried about my fertility and whether or not I could conceive.  To preserve my fertility, I had 3 separate laparoscopies to remove the endometrial growths.  I tried every kind of hormonal therapy including all types of birth control.  I experienced days of abdominal pain which resulted in many missed days of school and work.  Through it all, I was able to conceive in January 2011.

I experienced morning sickness and nighttime sickness during the first 4 months of pregnancy.  The nausea was unbearable to the point that I was unable to continue my employment as a banker.  It was difficult to remain professional with my clients while having episodes in the bathroom.  I had a couple of months of relief until symptoms of gestational diabetes set in.

During my 7^th month of pregnancy I felt something wasn’t right.  My blood sugar levels were very high.  The 3^rd trimester is tiring, but diabetes made me very uncomfortable.  Once I was able to see a endocrinologist, I started to feel much better.

The endocrinologist evaluated my blood sugar levels and gave me insulin.  I was required to check my levels every morning and after each meal.  I also gave myself insulin shots before each meal and before bedtime.  I would use a total of 8 needles per day.  I was also required to see my doctor 3 times per week for stress tests to evaluate my baby’s growth and heart rate. 

Toward the end of my pregnancy, I had to double my insulin dosages to maintain my blood sugar level in a healthy range.  For the health of me and my baby, I was scheduled for an induction before my due date.  I experienced every single induction procedure possible.  After 16 hours of labor, the induction resulted in a cesarean.

After all the worry, tests, shots, needles, and record keeping the diabetes went away within hours of birth.  I was so thankful!  My baby’s blood sugar was also fine.  My doctor informed me that from surgery he could confirm that the endometriosis had vanished during pregnancy!!!!  What an amazing miracle!!  Through it all, I am so grateful for this little girl in my life. :-)

Insomnia

When will I ever get sleep again?  Even though my baby is sleeping through the night, everything wakes me up!  I never used to be a light sleeper, but after sleep deprivation from a newborn it's difficult to return to a normal sleep schedule.

I have developed the mother's ear and have become a very light sleeper.  Even with the monitor on, I will think I've heard my baby cry when in fact it's just my imagination.  My husband's snoring keeps me awake and it never bothered me before.  I'll even hear thunder and rain outside and it will wake me up.

I've tried taking over-the-counter sleep medication.  The situation never fails.  After I take one, my little one wakes up at 11:00 pm because of teething pain or something else.  Then, I'm sitting in a rocking chair rocking her in my arms while I finally feel sleepy.  Luckily I'm able to get her back to sleep quickly so I can return to bed.  Unfortunately a continuous and undisturbed rest has not taken place.

I know it will work itself out in time.  Developing good sleeping habits is all about routine.  I just have to be patient until my routine settles back in. 

The Honest Truth: It's not easy

Morning sickness, labor pains, and stretch marks.  I didn’t think much about them until they personally happened to me.  After experiencing 4 months of nausea, gestational diabetes, insulin shots, 16 hours of labor, and a cesarean I’ve pretty much been very honest when someone asks me about motherhood.  I have wondered maybe I shouldn't have been so honest?  Honesty is the best policy J

Sure, it’s easy to look at Facebook pictures of your friends who have become parents and think about how cute their little one is.  Although, they don't post pictures of what’s going on behind the scenes. Here’s a picture of what caring for a newborn looks like…

 

 

Yes, this doesn't look so pretty.  LOL!  It's not easy.  Sleep deprivation can do a number on you.  My baby didn't sleep through the night until she was 9 1/2 months.  We had lots of diaper changes and poo in my hair.  Spit up on my shirt and furniture.  Lots of laundry too.  It's a difficult job, but it's all worth it!

 

After it all, I am so thankful for my health.  The gestational diabetes went away within hours of my delivery.  I also recovered well from surgery.  I had a beautiful image in my mind as to how motherhood would be, and the picture has come true...

 

Timing Feedings

Some breastfeeding books will tell you not to time your feedings, or in other words, look at the clock.  Personally, the clock has helped me tremendously.  This may sound crazy, but in the first months of sleep deprivation I couldn't tell the difference between 10 minutes or 20 minutes.  While breastfeeding, you don't specifically know how many ounces of milk your baby receives.  For me, I would measure it by the minutes. 

I conveniently had a digital clock nearby, so I would watch the clock.  In the beginning my baby would nurse about 20 minutes per side.  Sometimes it would be necessary to unlatch her or encourage her to keep nursing. Most newborns will fall asleep at the breast, so it's important to know how much longer they need to feed or if it's okay for them to stop.  If they've gone too long, then it's like you are now the baby's pacifier.  I'd rather switch to the other side when that happens :-)

After a while, I was so used to the clock that I would watch it while on road trips.  We would stop at a gas station or resting area for me to nurse.  I would watch the radio clock.  I would think to myself "as long as we can get at least 10 minutes on each side, we'll be okay".  If I am somewhere that doesn't have a clock nearby, I use my cell phone. 

This tip has helped me to not only measure each feeding, but also see the progression of weaning.  It has been interesting in these last few months because sometimes she'll only nurse 3 minutes per side.  It's amazing how weaning happens naturally.  What a beautiful thing! 

Pre-Pregnancy Jeans

Pre-pregnancy jeans.  They are our dream and our fear.  Dream that we can be the size we once were.  Fear that we may never be.

I am not an expert on exercise.  I am also not a model for Fitness Magazine.  However, I want to encourage you that it can happen.  You can wear your pre-pregnancy jeans again! 

It took me 7 months and 11 days.  I give most of the credit to lifting weights.  I had never been much of a gym person before.  It was a little intimidating, but I did some research and gave it a try.  I started noticing results after one full month.  All of these weight loss products and gadgets make you think that losing weight is easy or fast, but that is far from the truth!

Lifting weights is so important for women.  Mostly we think lifting is for men only so they can become big and muscular like Hulk Hogan.  However, that is a myth. Lifting weights is very important for our health.  Read this article about why women should lift weights. 

Let me share with you a few resources that have helped me understand exercise.  The first is the book Fitness For Dummies.  It is excellent!  Here are a few excerpts that are my favorite:

Why you've gotta lift weights

The only way to increase your metabolism is to build muscle, which you can best accomplish by lifting weights.  How does this work?  First, a couple of definitions: Your metabolism refers to the number of calories you're burning at any given moment, whether you're watching The Weather Channel or riding a bike.  But when most people use the term, they're referring to your resting metabolism, the number of calories your body needs to maintain its vital functions.  Your brain, heart, kidneys, and other organs are cranking away 24 hours a day, and your muscle cells are constantly undergoing repair.  All of these processes require energy in the form of calories simply to keep you alive.

But here's the key: Your resting metabolic rate depends primarily on your amount of fat-free mass - everything in your body that's not fat, including muscle, bones, blood, organs, and tissue.  The more fat-free mass you have, the more energy your body expends in order to keep going.  So, you want to be muscular.  You can't do anything to increase the size of your liver or brain, but you certainly can make yourself more muscular, and lifting weights is the primary way to do just that. 

If you don't lift weights, your metabolism will slow down every year, as your muscles slowly waste away.  And with a more sluggish metabolic rate, you'll gain weight even if you eat the same amount of food.  How's that for incentive to hit the weight room?
 

Another resource to learn exercise routines is www.muscleandstrength.com.  This link will show you how to work each muscle group.  You can click on each muscle and view videos of so many exercises!  It's awesome!   They have routines for beginners, intermediates, and advanced.  Try it out!

Welcome to The Nursing Mommy Blog!

During the past 11 months of motherhood I have experienced many moments where the "light bulb" came on for me.  I thought "Goodness! If I had just known about this a month ago, my life would've been so much easier!" 

The purpose of this blog is to share all of these "light bulb" moments with you.  I want to encourage and empower all mothers through the journey of motherhood.  I plan to share tips on caring for a new baby, living with sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, and much more.

Breastfeeding isn't easy, however the benefits for you and your baby are priceless.  Join me as we embark on this journey together.  Share with other moms, moms-to-be, and grandmothers.  This is going to be fun!!